It happened too fast.
I didn't expect it to be so serious. I always get small cuts since I started my lab. But, it was different yesterday. The cut was so deep that I can hardly stop the bleeding. I went to Pusat Kesihatan and they asked me to bend my thumb but I couldn't do it. They decide not to stitch my wound as they were worried that I had accidentally cut my tendon. They gave me anti-tetanus jab and sent me to the hospital. There's two possibilitity: either they will fix it or my thumb will never function the same again. After seeing the doc from orthopedic department, I was confirmed to be admitted for surgery.
I was so afraid and frustrated. I was suppose to finish 70% of my lab work by Wednesday and yet accident happened. My friend tried to calm me down but all I did was crying over and over again. The nurses thought that I was in great pain. I wanted to get out of there so much but I couldn't. I was touched when I saw my friends who came all the way from uni during the visiting hour and an unexpected guest. However, I was allowed to discharge on the next day. Knowing that my hand will take at least 2 months to recover, I didn't went home. I went to uni instead to finish my work and prepare for my sensory lab. I'm really thankful to have a bunch of friends who helped me out with my lab work. I'm really sorry for taking their time for my own project. Everyone is offering me help as I couldn't do much things on my own. The lab assistants had been extra kind to me whenever I need to use the lab.
Through the past 3 days, I truly understand what its feel like when you have only one hand. I remember that I was so hungry after the surgery and I wanted to eat bread. But, I couldn't open the package no matter how hard I've tried. I felt so hopeless. I tried a few times but I failed. It's actually very simple but I just cant do it. I was so sad and I begin to wonder what if this going to last forever. Now, I can't type properly, I cant tie my hair, I cant hold all my stuff, I can't carry things with both hand and I cant wear my clothes properly. It took me so long to get a simple thing done. When people say 'get well soon', it seriously doesn't mean anything to a person who knows that that will not happen. It will take years for a tendon to heal. However, I need to appreciate that I'm still able to blog about this. It was just the tendon, what if the knife slip and I cut my blood artery? I remember this blog post which I wrote last year, I should be grateful with what I have now.